Amerotrash

Um……I want one of these:

I LOVE GREAT DANES! And I really miss having animals around. My fat feline firstborn (oh yes, I alliterated) is 3,500 miles away! I should adopt someone to take the edge off. Like a Great Dane, a little girl like this, and I’ll name her Alice:
Oh good lord! That is too much. Good news Norah, you’re getting a little….well, let’s face it, big sister!! Ah, but if I get Alice, who will one day stand at 6’3”, where would I keep her?

That’s where you keep Great Danes, playa. And that’s where you keep Kates for that matter! (pop quiz Elisa: Do you know what that house is? ;)

Okay, but enough daydreams. I am in Europe, where houses are tiny and dogs are tiny and meals are tiny and cokes are tiny and the only thing not tiny is my jean size, apparently. Anyway, houses and dogs are for all you Yanks! JKJKJK

But this does bring me to my next point. I met someone I would classify as Amerotrash this week. Amerotrash, in my mind, is someone who the second they set foot on European soil, believe themselves to be native Europeans. They talk like Euros, play Euro music at their parties, start calling soccer “football” and interject bits of Euro languages in their conversations (“Okay, see you at the bowling alley. Ciao bella!”). They usually pick one country to obsess over and pretend they’re from. I’ve seen England, France, Italy... Usually they’ve only been to Europe once, and stayed in Best Western Paris, and have a slew of Hard Rock Café shirts, but they still could talk to you for hours about the people, the ambiance, the way of life…

Amerotrash are my least favorite…sorry, favourite (just joking) kind of person. Being an American over here is rough, and taking pride in America is even rougher. Guys think American girls are easy, girls think American people are fat, and everyone thinks American people are idiots. We need more Yanks coming over and being model citizens. We need to order rounds and lend cigarettes (and NOT be over-the-top antismokers), we need to keep our pants on despite smarmy accents, we need to walk places without complaint. What we need are a few good Americans, not a bunch of wannabe Euros. Honestly, if we don’t take pride in the States, it’s not like the rest of the world is going to do it. That makes it really, really sad when Americans don't respect our own heritage.