In Baby News:
-Halle Berry had her baby
-PUNKY BREWSTER had her second baby (thanks, Punky, making me feel ancient)
-Melissa Joan Hart is a hoss after having her second baby
-Jennifer Lopez's babies are on People today
-Jessica Alba always looks extremely not pleased about having a baby
-Fergie TOTALLY looks like she's about to have a baby
-Minnie Driver can't WAIT to get her baby bump going
-Angelina Jolie's baby bump blossomed into being overnight--immaculate brad-ception?
-Nicole Kidman's baby is slim and slender
-Nicole Richie's baby is already pawned off on grandma
-Christina Aguilera's baby has a racy mother
and on and on and on. We are being innundated with baby shtuff lately. Can you see it in the fashion trends with those flowy tops? What about pastels being in, you see it there? Watch closely as neo-conservatism sweeps across popular culture. There's nothing wrong with idolizing wives and mothers instead of druggies, anorexics and whores. But the shift in idolatry represents a shift in cultural values--I'm serious. And where J Lo and Angie uphold the model of neo-con, nuclear-family, homegrown Americanism, poor saps like Jessica Alba and Nicole Richie are getting swept up in the misled undertow, giving birth to kids who replace their now feaux pas chihuahua arm accessories.
...In fairness, I might spout politic, but really I just can't take one more baby. There's a lot of baby going around. And I notice that over here, stars are still just stars. We don't watch their children, their baby's pics don't go for millions, we don't obsess over where they get their baby's alabaster crib or cashmere diapers. It doesn't matter. Colin Farrell--you ever see his kid anywhere? He has one. You hear nothing. Same goes for loads of celebs that we don't really know about in The States but are big over here. The kid thing in the US has gotten a little intense. I'm sure you guys are really getting annoyed by the innundation!
Anyway, today is Holy Thursday, which is big in Ireland, because it marks the last day you can buy alcohol until after Easter. A dark day in a drunken land. The Irish version of a nuclear fallout. Tonight, everyone will pour into the pubs for their last drinks for a few days. The off license stores will sell out of beer and liquor as people stock up. Near midnight, people line the bars ordering last rounds, and as the clocks strike 12, the taps will stop and the bars will close tight. Abstaining from selling liquor during the final part of Holy Week is one of the most strongly guarded laws in Ireland, no joke. In Northern Ireland this tradition is not practiced, so oftentimes people party bus up to SEVEN HOURS to Belfast to drink there. I know, I can't believe it either. It's only 3 days. Guys, this is the culture I'm living in. It's a wonder I don't have cirrhosis already...
So I'll be avoiding the pubs tonight and going to see a film instead. Fun fun! And oh, btw, NO WORK TOMORROW! Good Friday, people! Know thyne Catholic holidays. Oh, and NO WORK MONDAY! Easter Monday, people! Know thyne made up Catholic holidays.
So have a good weekend! Happy Easter!
-Halle Berry had her baby
-PUNKY BREWSTER had her second baby (thanks, Punky, making me feel ancient)
-Melissa Joan Hart is a hoss after having her second baby
-Jennifer Lopez's babies are on People today
-Jessica Alba always looks extremely not pleased about having a baby
-Fergie TOTALLY looks like she's about to have a baby
-Minnie Driver can't WAIT to get her baby bump going
-Angelina Jolie's baby bump blossomed into being overnight--immaculate brad-ception?
-Nicole Kidman's baby is slim and slender
-Nicole Richie's baby is already pawned off on grandma
-Christina Aguilera's baby has a racy mother
and on and on and on. We are being innundated with baby shtuff lately. Can you see it in the fashion trends with those flowy tops? What about pastels being in, you see it there? Watch closely as neo-conservatism sweeps across popular culture. There's nothing wrong with idolizing wives and mothers instead of druggies, anorexics and whores. But the shift in idolatry represents a shift in cultural values--I'm serious. And where J Lo and Angie uphold the model of neo-con, nuclear-family, homegrown Americanism, poor saps like Jessica Alba and Nicole Richie are getting swept up in the misled undertow, giving birth to kids who replace their now feaux pas chihuahua arm accessories.
...In fairness, I might spout politic, but really I just can't take one more baby. There's a lot of baby going around. And I notice that over here, stars are still just stars. We don't watch their children, their baby's pics don't go for millions, we don't obsess over where they get their baby's alabaster crib or cashmere diapers. It doesn't matter. Colin Farrell--you ever see his kid anywhere? He has one. You hear nothing. Same goes for loads of celebs that we don't really know about in The States but are big over here. The kid thing in the US has gotten a little intense. I'm sure you guys are really getting annoyed by the innundation!
Anyway, today is Holy Thursday, which is big in Ireland, because it marks the last day you can buy alcohol until after Easter. A dark day in a drunken land. The Irish version of a nuclear fallout. Tonight, everyone will pour into the pubs for their last drinks for a few days. The off license stores will sell out of beer and liquor as people stock up. Near midnight, people line the bars ordering last rounds, and as the clocks strike 12, the taps will stop and the bars will close tight. Abstaining from selling liquor during the final part of Holy Week is one of the most strongly guarded laws in Ireland, no joke. In Northern Ireland this tradition is not practiced, so oftentimes people party bus up to SEVEN HOURS to Belfast to drink there. I know, I can't believe it either. It's only 3 days. Guys, this is the culture I'm living in. It's a wonder I don't have cirrhosis already...
So I'll be avoiding the pubs tonight and going to see a film instead. Fun fun! And oh, btw, NO WORK TOMORROW! Good Friday, people! Know thyne Catholic holidays. Oh, and NO WORK MONDAY! Easter Monday, people! Know thyne made up Catholic holidays.
So have a good weekend! Happy Easter!
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