"Adults who marry are not necessarily more mature than adults who do not; often enough the reverse is true. Yet marrying is deeply embedded in the cultural unconscious as a sign of majority attained. It makes people feel grown up. What an extraordinary power we grant the government over our innermost lives!"
from Michael Warner's The Trouble with Normal: Sex, Politics and the Ethics of Queer Life
Thoughts?
Yeah, it really does seem like most engaged/married chicks tend to feel more responsible, wise and experienced than the ones who aren't. There's a lot of that crap flying around the Knot message boards. I don't really know about guys though. I think it's crazy, cuz you can get married at 18...and 18 year olds are just dumb. And it sucks, cuz even though you know it's B.S., you can't help but feel that all the girls your age who are getting hitched are accomplishing something meaningful that you have yet to attain...making you feel like you're falling behind or somehow less than. I know that's how I felt. However, from my personal experience, getting engaged (and most likely getting married too) will not inherently make me feel more mature or responsible. It's just not my primary measure of success and entitlement. I think I'll start with finding a full-time job. Benefits are pretty grown up. : ) And when you put it this way, it almost makes you feel like the government should have nothing to do with the definition of intimate relationships. Institutionalizing such a personal commitment seems a little ridiculous.
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